英文笑话数则 (附译文)
1 I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐！”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
2
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的
苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗？"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义？"
3
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it。”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
谁的父亲更强壮
威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说：“喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。”
比尔不屑一顾：“噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。”
4
A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly。
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently。
"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand。
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"
"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
5
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man。
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor。
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert。
中文翻译：
生化战争课的老师在课堂上问士兵们：“谁知道水的分子式？”
“当然，太简单了。”一个士兵回答道。
“是什么？”
“H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O。”
“什么，什么？”老师又问道。
“H to O，”化学专家解释道。
6
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked “Anything new at work”， and he replied", no, I am teaching History"。
中文翻译：
一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭。妻子问到：“工作上有什么新鲜事吗？”丈夫回答说：“没有，我是教历史的。”
7
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant。
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
中文翻译：
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。
“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了！厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”
“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗？”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
注释：Noteroach：蟑螂 munch：用力咀嚼 sanitary：清洁的
[ 本帖最后由 sis5201314 于 2010-4-1 00:22 编辑 ]
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